When I shop, the world gets better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.

-Rebecca Bloomwood, Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Oh I know that feeling. That use to be me 10 years ago. I was at college away from home. With a horrible roommate and few friends. I’ve learned making friend is just not my thing. I’m not a “spill my life to you” bonds instantly with people girl. So to pass the time and get out of my room, I would shop.

And the world seemed better for me. The next day I would walk to class in my new boots or a jacket or a shirt. You get the picture. But then that ueporia would wear off. I’d still be the unhappy girl with a horrible rommie and no friends. Back to the mall.

Then something wonderful happened – I turned 18.

“Would you like to open a (fill in the store) credit card?”

“Um….Yeah”

I finally dropped out of that school and moved home. I wasn’t a deadbeat though. I got a full time job and went to a local college.

I was living at home with the rents. With time and money to spare, I’d float through Hudsons’s (aka Marshall Fields aka Macy’s, but its still Hudson’s in my heart). I could spend hours shopping.

I wasn’t that dangerous since Prada doesn’t exist in my neck of the woods. But I loved my DKNY, Tommy, Victoria Secret matching bras and underwear. I was styling but with a whopping credit card bill.

It took my hubby proposing for me to make a change. I didn’t want to go into marriage with that debt. I cut up the credit cards. I said “No” when they asked me at the stores. I was afraid they would say “Declined” anyways. It took me a while but I paid it off. Well we did. By then I was married.

That how it was for the longest time. I even gave up having a debit card for a while. I had a plain old ATM card. My hubby’s pet peeve about me has to be that I never write anything in the check book. I just let him print off the statement and fill in the blanks.

Watching this movie made me realize I’m still a shopaholic. When it comes to shopping, I’m like the social drinker that occasionally has a binge. I will we fine for a while just the everyday items we need. When I’m down or stressed out, I toss that extra shirt in the cart when I’m at Target picking up diapers.

I’ve been reduced from Coach and DKNY to the shirt on clearance at Target. I justify it that I got such a great deal. Or I would have spent $100 but I used coupons to save $20 so I can get a shirt. Lately its been all about what I can get free or really cheap. We really don’t need that 14^th air freshner, but it was free. My bill started at $40 and I got it down to $7.49. But its still the same.

Shopping is still my Prozac.

Hi, My name is Stephanie and I’m a Shopaholic.

Scene of the crime:   Indoor play center.  Rainy day.  Packed with kids.

Amid the chaos things are going quite well for the first hour.   We see little bits of cooperation.  My boys helping other kids build towers of foam blocks.   My oldest and another boy doing the zip line thing together.  It beats telling them every minute to share.

My youngest is playing in a large foam circle.  The older kids stacked it two high so they could hide in it.   Little girl about my son’s age is crawling up.   My “so called good” son is watching her.   She reaches the top.

Then as I watched in what seemed like slow motion.

*envision me running slowly yelling “Nnnnn….oooooo….”*

My son takes a step towards her and pushes her.   She tumbles backwards.   Luckily everything is padded.  But it wasn’t pretty to watch.

Why is it that when incidents happen the entire place gets quiet?

I’m left standing their telling my son that you don’t push people and giving him a time out.   All the while I feel like everyone is looking at me going “oh look at THAT mom, the one with the unruly boys”.

I’m tempted to make a point to my boys that you don’t do that and just leave.  But then again I just paid $16 for them to play.   I don’t want to feel like I wasted my money.   And my oldest was somewhere in the second level of the play center and I was dealing with my youngest.   So I resign myself to staying and try to ignore my insecurities of being “That Mom”.

We continue to stay and play.   I know my oldest acts up when he gets worked up.  I intervene with a lunch break to allow him to calm down.  Then it was his turn.   With two other boys his age, they start running.  Then it turns into playing tag.   The tags start to get a little rough.

I add a “you need to slow down”.

Do the other boys moms see trouble coming and offer a reinforcing word to their kids?

Of course not.  I can just assume those boys are the youngest in a family of boys and this behavior does not phase those parents.

Clothing starts to get pulled (yup that was my son as he fell down making a tag).    By this point all of them are worked up and that equals flailing limbs.   Which results in, my son getting hit.   But of course everyone only noticed when I first said something to my son and him crying from being hit.

Yup again I’m “That Mom”  and “That boy probably deserved it”.

To make it worse, this was the first time I was meeting some moms from a playgroup.   Luckily they had little ones who they were playing with.  So they were in no danger from my children.   But I already had the anxiety of meeting new people now add to it “god they probably don’t want “that mom” and her unruly boys around their children” thoughts.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother.   Its not so bad being the loaner is it?

‘Twas the day before school, and all through the store
Each mother shopped wildly, shirts hit the floor;
“I won’t wear that” “Uh No” “I don’t care”,
Is all that could be heard as they texted “Its not fair”

The babies were restless from hours at the mall,
Mom wondered how these kids grew up so fast and so tall;
She gave in on the sneakers,
Held her ground on that top,

“Jeans with holes in them definitely wont fly”
”Remember the dress code” was her reply
The day was too long
Mom was at her wits

“Couldn’t you just wear uniforms?”
But that idea was quickly nixed
One more store they pleaded
And mom let out a cry

“Just Old Navy” they said
Then something just clicked
Mom’s frown turned into a smirk
And then quickly to a smile

She dug through her purse
Past the makeup, diapers, wipes, and snacks.
She reach to the bottom and pulled out with glee
$50 off a $100 purchase! Could it be!

They ran out of JCPennys knocking over a rack
Past Aeropostale, Abercrombie and the GAP.
Straight cross the mall with mom in the lead
That stroller left skid marks you wouldn’t believe.

Round a corner they found heaven.
Atleast that’s what mom said.
She pushed the kids through the door.
And finally relaxed.

Jeans they could agree on,
Shirts that fit just right.
Backpacks and lunch bags
For once without a fight.

Mom floated through the store
Picking out this and that
Not worrying about the price just that they could agree
“Sure honey it’s so cheap its almost free”

They returned to the car with hands full of bags.
This year the kids couldn’t complain about their rags.
I heard that mom exclaim as she drove out of sight
“Thank Goodness for Old Navy.  This year will be just right!”