I  think all my life I’ve felt that I just don’t quite fit in.

In grade school. 

In middle school. 

In high school

Even to this day.

I always feel that I am the outsider, the third wheel, the tag along, etc.

Its not that I don’t try.  I put myself out there and try new things.   I tried clubs and sports at school.  I did the sorority thing at college and when I dropped out I don’t think anyone noticed.  

I always hear people say oh I met my bff at this class or mommy-and-me or doing this or that.   Why doesn’t that happen to me?  

I’ve tried classes from the ordinary fitness classes.  I’ve tried the nontraditional - pole dancing anyone?   I’ve taken my children to swim classes, playground fitness, play centers, etc.

I  guess there is just something about me that people don’t warm up to or connect with. 

I’m not the girl that cries over everything that you bond with over shared situation and a box of Kleenex.     I’m not going to spill my guts and get all emotional on you.   Its hard enough for me to do that on my blog.   (I actually think I clammed up over that last two weeks realizing that people read my blog.) Maybe I try to hard or maybe I don’t try enough.  

So why do I always feel not quite accepted?   Like there is a missing piece?  One day will I find my group?   I guess I just keep searching…

It was missing a piece.
And it was not happy.
So it set off in search
of its missing piece.

I’m beginning to notice a pattern.   You do not want to piss me off on the wrong day.  

I’d say most days I take life with a grain of sand.   I just let things roll of my back.  Why worry?  Worrying won’t change anything.  

But I’m learning that those things just sit and fester.   Then when one more thing piles on, it pops.  

That is what happen tonight.   At almost midnight to be exact.  

Sitting on the couch.  I got sucked into watching CSI.   I just had to see them solve the case.  

Then what do I hear and feel?

Boom Boom Boom and my walls shaking.

Along that shaking wall is my children’s bedroom.  

Now two hours earlier they pulled up in the driveway with the boom, boom, boom going.   Now I know I have new neighbors but I hadn’t encountered this before.  So I assumed it was a visitor.  I took it with a grain of salt.  I gritted my teeth and stayed on the couch.   But now at midnight, I have a problem with it.

Who the heck does that?   I understand the kids driving down the road music blaring.   But in the driveway between two houses?  

So being the pissed off neighbor that I was.  I go flying out to the front porch, just as they were pulling out.  

“HELLO”

“That is my children’s bedroom windows”

“Turn it down”

No f-bombs were dropped.  No profanity thrown.   I yelled out of necessity.  

They yell something back.  and I repeat “That is my children’s windows. Turn it down”  

They pull away music still blaring.  

So a few minutes later a knock at my door.   So I open it.   I was kind of expecting an apology.   A couple and their son live next door.   But the girl at my door wasn’t any one I have met or saw.  I can only assume it is the girlfriend of the guy next door or the daughter of the couple.  

Apology?  No. The conversation went sort of like this:

“Were you out on the porch yelling?”

“Yes, that music was to loud for and those are my children’s windows”

“Well she’s from North Carolina, so she didn’t know.”

At this point I am thinking I don’t care where you are from.  You don’t pull up between two houses with music blaring that loud.  Then she continues:

“Yelling was unnecessary”  

“Yeah it was needed”

Yeah because she couldn’t hear me over that music if I wasn’t yelling!

But by that point she was walking off my porch.  

So now I’m pissed and wired like I drank three Red Bull and a triple espresso.  No way I can go to sleep now.  

So a blogging I will go.

Also FYI to all my neighbors (even though I know no one knows me or my blog):

I have called the cops on M80s being set off twice. 

I called the cops on the boys playing across the street.  I didn’t know if that was a real gun or a fake one.  I wasn’t about to walk out there and yell at you.  

I have called the cops on the creepy guy dodging behind trees when my niece took my kids to the park.  

I will call the cops on the kids smoking pot at the park across the street next time I see them.  I have your license plate number.   Last year you set the portajohn on fire, destroyed a picnic table, ripped the bark off a poor innocent tree, and you just plain freak my mother out.  

Here is your warning!  I am unemployed.  I have nothing better to do than be the neighborhood watch.   

P.S.   Screw the economy, the automotive industry, Obama for giving the banks a bailout with no strings.    I’ve had it.   If I get one more renter in my neighborhood or see one more for sale sign go up.  I’m tired of this crap.

*Here is a visual – me doing the happy dance*

I’m a finalist in the Protect-A-Bed BlogHer Scholarship hosted by Kim at Whats that Smell?  and Alyson at 3 P’s in a Pod . 

Protect-A-Bed realizes the value in using the blogging community and know that the best advertising it word of mouth/keystrokes.    They are generously offering a $300 scholarship to the winner.  

Luckily the BlogHer 2009 conference is a hop skip and a jump away in Chicago.   $300 would cover half of my hotel!  

So I beg of you!

Here is my post/entry:

http://www.timeslidesby.com/2009/05/protect-a-bed-plea/

But to make it easy on you here is my vlog:

Now please go here and vote for me – #7 Time Slides By.

http://accidentalmommies.com/2009/05/vote-for-protectabed-blogher-scholarship-finalists/

Lastly tell all of your friends to vote for me!

Thank You!    Thank You!    Thank You!

I feel like a horrible mother.

My oldest son has never been a stuffed animal person.   He was never attached to anything except his binky when he was little.  

About a month prior to my garage sale, I cleaned his room.  He hadn’t played with the whole bin of stuffed animals in quite a while, so I put them in the garage.   I kept the few he did play with…his Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls and a few others but that was it.

Garage sale time came, so I put them in.  

A nice leader from a church group came and asked how much for all the stuffed animals.   She said they were putting together a donation to the local children’s hospital.   I was sympathetic since my son was treated there for his broken femur (read about the hip spica cast).  I said just take them.  Second hand stuffed animals don’t sell that great anyways.  

Fast forward a couple weeks…my son suddenly misses his stuffed teddy.   Never slept with it before.  Never carried it around religiously. 

But suddenly its:

“Mom sold my teddy. ”

“You sold him in the garage sale.” 

“Somebody has my teddy.” 

” The one with the little ears.”  

Oh Good God how am I going to find the “teddy with the little ears”?

Great.   Guilt trip on Mother’s Day.

Still looking for your golden ticket to BlogHer?

JVC Everio is offering 4…Yes I said 4…trips to BlogHer!

The trip includes:

• BlogHer ’09 Conference registration
• Roundtrip airfare to the BlogHer ’09 Conference in Chicago, IL
• Hotel accommodations for three nights
• Food allowance
• A JVC Everio camcorder

All you have to do is visit the Everio Cameras site.  Then answer one question “Which Everio Camera fits your family’s lifestyle?”.

So abandon my blog right now and go enter!

So many companies are teaming up with bloggers.  They realize the value in using the blogging community and know that the best advertising it word of mouth…well in our case keystrokes.  

One company that is teaming up with bloggers is Protect-A-Bed.  Protect-A-Bed produces matress and pillow covers that protect from dust mite and bed bug infestation (a major cause of allergies and eczema).

To show how important bloggers are, Protect-A-Bed is offering a $300 BlogHer Scholarship.   To enter visit Kim at Whats that Smell?  or Alyson at 3 P’s in a Pod to enter.   All you have to do is answer one question “Why is the Blogher conference important to me?”

So without further adieu here is my entry.  Bedhead and all!

I’m back from the dead.  Well ok not the dead but from finals week.   I had two big project and they kicked my butt.   A week of up at 6:30am and not going to bed until 12:30am landed me with a head cold.   Thanks hubby for the cooties.  

This week I am actually looking forward to cleaning my house up.   I hate cleaning but I have let everything slide.  Well  I did clean a bit on Friday because I was completely freaking out.   Peter Walsh is right when he talks about how organization helps you live a less stressed life.  As I cleaned, this calming feeling went through me.

I addition this week I am looking forward to wrapping up a few outstanding projects and officially launching a few new ones.   Details later.   I have  a bottle of Nyquil calling my name.