Hi my name is Stephanie and I’ve been a Bad Housewife.   

I’m starting a support group for us women who have been to busy working 40+ hours a week outside of the home.  For us women who squeeze in a few precious hours of quality time with our children at night.   For us women who have done the quick clean on weekends just to keep the house presentable.   For us women, who just gave up hope that the house would ever be immaculate.  For us women, who still have the guilt of being a bad housewife.

I didn’t realize how bad it was until I lost my job.   I am so not Donna Reed.   Now that I actually have the time.  I’ve been cleaning my house like crazy.   I honestly think I’ve lost my mind.   But I have realized that my house was filthy.   Not like hoarder I need to be on a TV show filthy.  But it was filthy and needed a thorough cleaning.    The day to day quick cleans just don’t cut it.   I keep putting off the big spring cleaning every year and where did it get me:

• I could have made a small child a coat with all the dog hair I vacuumed behing the fridge.
• What did I find under the fridge, half of the magnetic alphabet, a race car, oh a two bugs – luckily they were plastic but it was still creepy.
• Did you know that my spare shower was beige and not this dingy moldy brown color?   Yeah I was quite suprised.
• Bleach isn’t as scary as I thought.   I was always afraid that I would destroy clothing with it.   But its not that bad and it is very effective agains the dingy moldy shower.
• Dust makes me sneeze.   The dust has to go.
• I really hope my hubby’s grandma did a great job of cleaning before we bought the house.  Because I haven’t given it a good cleaning since we bought it….five years ago.

Can I really plead stupidity on this one?   I’ll even admit I was a messy spoiled brat growing up.  I really didn’t clean a thing.   I had to learn how to do laundry when I moved to college and I still haven’t used bleach yet.   I never learned how to clean.

So I am a bad housewife and I’ve confessed my sins.  Please forgive me daddy I know not what I did.

I’m in transition.   Going from a mom who worked full time and took two college classes.   Soon I will be a SAHM taking college classes.   Today I realized I need to get a grip on my two rambuncious boys.  

I have been hit, pinched multiple times, had food thrown at, stopped a bite midstream, dodged a flying puzzle and who knows what else that I am lucky enough to have forgotted already.  

I’ve tried being stern with them, getting down to their level and letting them know that their behavior is not appropriate.   I’ve tried being the Kindergarten Cop.   It worked but I feel bad yelling and demanding.   I’ve tried time outs.   Finally I just resorted to early bedtime.  

Then I almost cried when I couldn’t get the vodka bottle open to make myself a cosmo.   Atleast it gave in.

So here I am – a Mom Defeated.   I’m now searching for answers as my cheeks are on fire from pinches.   How am I going to survive the weeks to come?

I know there is hope.   My children are able to focus on activities and they can be very sweet when they want to be.   But when they are competing for my attention it is ruthless.   All this from a 1 and 3 year old.   Pile on a wild black lab craving attention and its enough to make me go insane.  

Do I make a schedule and try to maximize one on one mom time by stagering naps?   I know a schedule is key.  I stick to their daycare schedule even on the weekends.   But then I so need the time they are both napping to myself.   Do I search for activities?   Do I plan outings?  

Or I just try to forget about today.   Sit back and enjoy the peace, quiet, and my Cosmo.

Tonight in my drawing class we were given an assignment to make an ”Exquisite Corpse Drawing”.  As we all sat there kind of dumb founded mostly because other than the people in the class noone we know likes to draw.   So how are we suppose to complete this assignment.   Then our instruction brought up an example…someone once did it with three friends as they were drinking.   Hence a new drinking game.

First a little art history lesson – according to Wikipedia:

Exquisite corpse (also known as “exquisite cadaver” or “rotating corpse”) is a method by which a collection of words or images is collectively assembled, the result being known as the exquisite corpse or cadavre exquis in French. Each collaborator adds to a composition in sequence, either by following a rule (e.g. “The adjective noun adverb verb the adjective noun”) or by being allowed to see the end of what the previous person contributed. 

So in basically you divide the paper into sections.  The first person starts the picture.  When they are finished, they cover their portion of the picture leaving only a section at the bottom for the next person to see.   Its kind of like the game “telephone” – one person starts and you don’t know how the phase is going to end up.

So this weekend grab a bottle of wine (or your drink of choice), paper, and anything to draw with.    Lets see what you get.   Here are some fun examples:

Since I’ve been at the unemployment office today and now I’m off to the financial aid office at school, here is a photo of where I wish I could be….on Lake Michigan on a hot day with my boys.  I love this photo because Ev was struggling to walk in the sand with his short little legs and he was trying so hard.

So I believe I am channeling my inner Bree and the quest for an organized home.  Maybe I’m just throwing myself into motherhood and housewife-dom.   If its not that then I’ve completely lost my mind.  

The past 5 days I’ve been on an all out spring cleaning spree.   But I don’t like to clean.   I usually despise it.  But I’ve just had the overwhelming urge to clean house – Back to Front, Top to Bottom, Inside to Outside.   See I even have a plan.   Scary.   

Today there was a mass exodus of stuffed animals as I cleaned out my boys toys.   I have to retrieved some boxes from my mom’s house, then I plan on completely emptying the toy box.   I feel that will allow me to completely analyze the toy situation.  

I am following my friend Dawn’s suggestion to move everything for a garage sale to one location – read about early prep for your spring garage sale here.   Well almost.  I have two locations.  Sstuff that is definately going in the garage sale goes right out to the garage.  Stuff that still needs to be sorted through but doesn’t belong in the room I purged it from goes to the basement.   I’m being ruthless this time.   If it doesn’t belong in that room, it needs to find a new home.   That is my criteria.   When I’m done, I will have clean rooms and will probably feel differently about all this excess stuff that I just had to keep.   It will probably end up in the garage sale.

I swear I’ve been doing this for 5 days one room at a time.  I haven’t sat down.  I think I forgot how.   And I’m looking forward to the next day and the next room.   I kinda like this feeling that I need purging things.   That I don’t have a reason to hold onto all this junk.    But it is work.

HOW I GOT STARTED

Oh and last week I lost my job because I was blogging to much at work. 

I’ll say was doing what I had to do to keep my sanity.   I am going to school for graphic design and I worked in the mundane world of loading dock equipment.  I needed some creative and emotional outlet, so Time Slides By was born.  

ABOUT TIME SLIDES BY

So about me.   I’m 28. I’m from the mitten state – Southeast Michigan. I’m a Mother, a Wife, a Daughter, a Sister, a Friend, a Dreamer, a Thinker, and an Artist in the works.   I currently have a couple projects in the works.  I’m dabbling in  Graphic Design and DVD Slideshows business. I just went back to school to get my Associates in Fine Arts.  I love photography and one day will be an overpaid children’s photographer.  I found my love of graphic design and photography after I had my boys.  I’m also getting ready to launch a line of Bachelorette Hats that top everything that is out there.   

MY BOYS

Everett is three.  He is a strong willed, charming, and a social butterfly.   I think he’s the future homecoming king, class president, and jock all rolled into one.  I don’t think he’s ever met a stranger which could be bad.   He’s not shy.  

Mitchell is one.   He my sensitive little boy but he’s also a charmer.   He’s finding his own voice lately.   He’s also my little engineer.  You will always see him out of the corner of your eye.  He’s watching how you do everything.   Then he tries it.   He’s scrappy too…he has to be with Everett as a big brother.

I married my wonderful husband, Paul, on June 5, 2004.  We’ve known each other since just out of high school.  Hard to believe that its been 10 years.   He puts up with me and just knods his head at my hairbrained whims…”Honey I’m going to start a blog now”.   

I love squishy faces on the windows when I come home and sneaky kisses from behind when I’m washing dishes.  

A big thanks to the girls over at 5 Minutes for Mom for the Ultimate Blog Party.   And thank you for visiting!

If you are interested in joining the Ultimate Blog Party, its easy write a post,  link up on 5 Minutes for Mom , then start blog hopping and visit your fellow bloggers.   And did I mention there are prizes to be won.   My top picks are:

• #58 Kitchenaid Mixer
• #89 HomeGoods Gift Cards
• Any of the Target Gift Cards  

I also love numbers 37, 50, 88, 118,INTL 19 & 20, USC 58, 10, 22, 38.  But I would love to win anything to pamper a mama or for 2-4 yr old boys.

Ok I am so screwed up on my days.   This is how I started this post:  “I’m a little late at putting this one up.   I was busy accomplishing things today.”   Funny thing is that it is Friday.   Anyways….

This weeks topic at Momdot’s Small Talk Six is “6 things you love or hate about springtime”

How does the Small Talk Six work?  It is simple.  Answer the topic with 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 sentences, 6 paragraphs, or 6 photos.

Here are my six for this week:

1. First one is a repeat from last week.   I love the green grass.
   
   
2. But it also means its baseball season.   We live right across the street from the little league field.   Your probably thinking “oh that is great”.   It will be when my boys are old enought to play and I just have to send them across the street for practice.  What’s not great?  Parking.   They don’t have enough.  So everyone parks up and down my street, both sides.   It looks like the mall lot on Christmas Eve.   Really fun backing out when there is an SUV on each side of it, and two more illegally parked directly across from my driveway.  At those moments – I hate baseball.
   
   
3. Flowers – I love tulips.  I’ve really started liking gardening.   I can’t wait to spread new mulch and plant some Wave Petunias.
   
   
4. I love BBQ.   Its always nice not to have to cook on the stove.   Best part no pots and pans to clean.   My favorite BBQ side dish recipe – Red Skin Potatos.   Cut them up in bite size pieces.  Make a large pocket out of aluminum foil.   Add some butter and Canadian Steak Seasoning (check Gordon Food’s for this).  Throw it on the grill for 30 mins.   Yum.
   
   
5. I love new spring activities.  We have our favorites that we hit when its warm out.  One of our favorites it the Taylor Petting Farm.   Cheap – $2 for residents.  We go almost every weekend in the summer.   Picnic at the park and visit the animals.
   
   
6. Last but not least - I love being able to walk outside.  I’m not a cold weather girl so I love when it gets warm.  I can put the boys in the stroller and go for an hour long walk in the neighborhood.

I finally got the job I always wanted:

Stay At Home Mom

(well atleast for a little while)

Now I’m just trying to figure out what to do now that I’m unemployed. I’m not that upset though. Today I got up and worked out for the first time in a long while. I started a diet since I can cook my own lunch at home. Day 1 – Happily Unemployed and loving it.

Now I’m just figuring out what to do next. Do I move up launching my own web boutique? Do I switch to going to school full time and finish my degree? Do I get a job? The last one is kinda hard to do since I live near Detroit and there is not much out there.

All I know is I feel very content right now. Even with everything up in the air. I’m quite proud of myself – my pity party lasted about an hour, then I started making a list of things to accomplish.

Its funny how you look for signs on how this is all going to turn out. When I got home from work, I walked in the door and it started pouring out. Then it started to thunder. 20 minutes the clouds parted and it was sunny out. So I decided that is how I was going to feel about it. God was telling me its going to be ok.

Then this morning I read my horoscope:

“The day ahead should be excellent. You’ve been searching for meaning behind recent events in your life. No doubt, there have been a lot of changes both on the job and at home. And you are bursting with new ambitions. Today, dear Sagittarius, you’re likely to put all these new experiences into a mixing bowl, stir them up and be grateful for the thrilling life you are leading right now! You may not have any specific answers, but sometimes feeling grateful is an answer all its own. “

My 3 year old normally isn’t a morning person.  He takes after his mama.   I’m a “don’t talk to me until I have a shower” person. 

To get him up you have pick him up out of bed and put him on the couch.  Then he will slowly start waking up.  Then he whines when he has to go potty and get dressed.   Then he throws a fit whines when we turn off Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to leave for daycare.  Then he whines as he gets in the car.   He wants to go in Mommy’s car and not with Daddy.   It is not the best way to start your day.

But on occassion, Everett has a good morning.   This was one of them.  

As I was buckling him into his carseat, we were talking about the school day.

Me:  “You’ll probably have a party at school today.  A little party.”

Ev: “Happy Birthday to Me”

Me: “Its not your birthday”

Ev: “Who’s birthday?”

Me: “Its noone’s birthday.  Its St. Patrick’s Day”

Ev: “Happy Birthday Patrick!”